Hi friends!
Hope you are faring well on Gaia’s melting planet. It’s hot as fuck and everyone’s in a mood, but what a gas to keep living this thing called life with our hearts open and cackles at the ready. I hear the ocean water near Florida is a jacuzzi these days — def not a sign of planetary health, but on brand for Florida.
I blinked, ate one good tomato, and somehow July is almost over? Before we know it we will be rounding the corner on this magnificently sideways year and as we savor every moment we have left in summer ‘23, I would like to dust off my crystal ball and take a moment to share a few predictions for what’s to come.
1. The ocean had her moment, now the sky will have its way with us.
Ok, not to get too Tom DeLonge here, but all signs are pointing to a major extraterrestrial reveal. As you may recall, earlier this year we had a few mysterious objects floating around the sky. Then, we had the Pentagon whistleblower with his claims that the Vatican helped the US government retrieve an alien spacecraft Mussolini was hoarding — historical gossip and we love.
Now, that same US government has recently proposed legislation that would declassify as many records as possible around the Pentagon’s experience with Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena (UAPs) and other potential alien delights.
And it wasn’t even the crackpot caucus proposing this, but Senate leader Chuck Schumer adding his take to an actual bill, citing “credible evidence and testimony” that the government has been hiding critical UAP information from congress and the public. ‘90s supermarket tabloids, eat your heart out.
2. Fran Drescher becomes a major voice in the revolution.
Who could have predicted iconic yenta Fran Drescher becoming this summer’s spokeswoman for the rising labor movement? Even though she was posing for instagram pics with Kim Kardashian in Milan like two days before the SAG-AFTRA contract was up, she redeemed herself with a viral speech that really brought the drama and posed THE rhetorical question of our era, “what are we doing, moving around furniture on the titanic?” Love her so much. She is a perfectly imperfect figurehead and this interview she just did with Bernie Sanders deeply thrilled my Jewish Leftist epigenetics, that part of me yearning to hear people speak emphatically (yell) in Yiddishisms.
3. Everyone will be “refreshing” their identities.
As we move further away from the pandemic era and truck along these unhinged times, the need to resuscitate some aspect of ourselves looms large. This isn’t a new trend, but one that will be peaking in the coming months as the allure of personal reinvention becomes too strong to resist. I’m talking both sides of the spectrum — unexpected divorces and new love for the chronically single, main character energy for the ones who don’t naturally embody it and karmic just desserts for those who desperately deserve them (a girl can dream!). We’ll see more babies/engagements for sure, and more people saying fuck you to social conventions, lots of dog birthday parties etc.
Working out will continue to be huge as we collectively exorcise our inner demons through exercise. I’m forecasting boxing as our next big workout fad — based on how everyone is driving their vehicles, so many could benefit from a few constructive punches and kicks.
We will certainly be seeing some unexpected hair cuts alongside pastiche fashion trends galore. With the youths now combining the past 4 decades in a single chaotic outfit, all bets are off. This is just me reporting live from my favorite dumpster, the line at Maru coffee in Los Feliz.
4. It could all really go either way.
As this headline so aptly declared, who’s to say what will happen when uncertainty, like the weather, is… so hot right now. I don’t really see that changing in the coming months, there is no cool breeze of certainty coming to wash over us as we venture forth into 2024. Will we be in an economic recession? The stripper on Twitter who famously predicts them is now saying no. Will we en masse address the psychological trauma of the past few years, rectifying the prevailing air of derangement, setting ourselves on a path to overcome the challenges we collectively face in keeping our planet inhabitable? Seems unlikely but cannot fully be ruled out!
The silver lining of uncertainty is carte blanche to engineer something new. When everything feels set in stone, it is much more difficult to imagine your way into a better reality. This world of ours, currently full of contradictions, chaos, and old structures that make no sense in a new world, is ripe for the reimagining. We are certainly at a crossroads, but that just means we can walk ourselves in a fresh direction.
5. Sandwiches in Los Angeles will improve.
Not much to say here, just a personal manifestation I would love your energetic support on. Fingers crossed and thanks in advance!
Have a great week, stay cool, and let me know if you have any predictions of your own. I live for this.
Less Lessons More Blessin’s™️
Liz