A New Season Begins
More alien carcasses less tone deaf atonements.
Hi friends!
How’s everyone doing? This was the kind of week that makes me miss smoking cigarettes. I am ashes, I am dust, I am the Mexican alien carcass laying in its little tomb.
You know it’s 2023 when a self proclaimed ufologist shows two mummified “alien bodies” to Mexican congress on live television and instead of being shocked or trying to debunk their legitimacy, we all just relate to their chalky, decrepit, adorable little figures. These “mummies” look like they were hand-built in a pottery class by an aging millennial exploring new hobbies, but we love and support.
This story has me inspired to self proclaim to be something as unhinged as a ufologist, a reinvention I am still workshopping (suggestions welcome) and hope to launch later this fall once every single planet and my own sanity are out of retrograde.
We’re all past due for a fresh start, and these September days, when summer transitions into fall, always bring the promise of a new, better vibe. Rosh Hashanah begins tonight at sundown, and in the grand tradition of my people, I cannot wait to spend the next 10 days reflecting on this most recent cycle of life, repenting where needed, and getting ready to harvest the seeds I’ve been planting these past few seasons.
Jews don’t have hell, but we do have a delightfully petty version of God who keeps notebooks on our behavior, and now, at the new year, judgement is cast. If we’ve been good, our name gets into the Book of Life, if we’ve gravely misbehaved, into the Book of Death we go, if we have generally just been mid, we get written into a third book and have 10 more days to make things right until our fates are sealed on Yom Kippur, the notorious day of bad breath and atonement.
I, too, am delightfully petty and keep multiple notebooks, and even though it feels like those most in need of reflection will never go inwards and mend their wicked ways, that shouldn’t stop the rest of us. These are not easy times to navigate, but for the next week and change, I will at least try not to get into any more fights on Slack or call anyone a corporate gaslighter behind their back, unless they really deserve it.
Atonement is already in the air, with this week giving us some of the worst apology videos since the dawn of recorded media. The karma culture vultures had their way with the morally bankrupt cast members of “That ‘70s Show” — feasting on everything from Scientology to Ashton Kutcher’s connection to a murder, to the legitimacy of the anti-sex trafficking organization he founded and just resigned from due to the backlash from writing a letter of support for a convicted rapist, something we can assume he never thought would be public.
Drew Barrymore posted her apology this morning, after being dragged all week for restarting production on her talk show amidst the ongoing strikes in Hollywood. Four rambling minutes later and one curious parallel drawn between the pandemic and the unions fighting for a fair deal and I just … cannot. I will take those four minutes back, ma’am.
Redemption is no longer available for celebrities, they’re too far removed from the realities of what being alive is like right now, how galvanized the masses are to call out bad behavior, how good it feels to reveal the hypocrisy of the exorbitantly privileged when you’re worn down from constantly trying to make ends meet.
The dawn of a new era requires the decay of the old one and the rules have changed. Transition is not easy for anyone, but especially not the people who have the most to lose, and their fraying edges are obvious. As for the rest of us, let’s just do our best to behave, rest, recharge, make some challah french toast, and hope this new season is fruitful for us all.
Before I go, I am very excited to share that this is my 20th newsletter, a massive achievement for me, a notorious procrastinator who was suffering from a tragique case of writer’s block before this publication began. Thank you to everyone who has sent me such kind and encouraging words and to those of you who have shared on social or forwarded along to friends. Turns out I just needed an audience — that’s so me. I love you, my readers! Lots more to come! Until next time…
Less Lessons More Blessin’s™️ and Shana Tova!
Liz